8 Things Outstanding Parents Constantly Tell Their Kids
Great families begin with great communication, so amazing parents use these phrases daily.
Whether you’re raising an only child or running an entire herd, your children’s success (and your own family) depends on your leadership.
Thankfully, the solution for motivating your family and squashing any issues is right at the tip of your tongue. It all starts with communication, the skill experts point to as the make-or-break factor for successful families.
Here are eight things that exceptional parents tell their children daily. Start using these each day and watch your family’s success soar:
1. “I believe in you.”
As a kid, there’s nothing more dispiriting than a parent who doesn’t believe in your abilities and helicopters around you at every turn. Even super-confident kids will see their self-belief plummet if they’re always treated like a toddler.
“The best leader is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.”
~ President Theodore Roosevelt
It might be tough to let go at first but if you give your children the opportunity, they will surprise you with what they can do. Most kids are capable of doing a lot more than you think they can. And it may be messy at first, but give it time and everyone will benefit. Plus, you’ll find that your home becomes a happier and more motivated environment.
2. “This is why I want us to…”
What separates the exceptional from the mediocre is the ability to communicate, make plans, and tie the daily drudgery to big-picture goals. Providing your family with a clear course creates a sense of stability and increases motivation.
“Great leaders motivate and inspire people with why they’re doing it. That’s purpose. And that’s the key to achieving something truly transformational.”
~ Marillyn Hewson, CEO of Lockheed Martin
So take the time to explain the “why” instead of merely giving orders.
3. “How can we improve next time?”
Mistakes are the world’s best teachers. Every person on planet Earth has messed up. Mistakes happen, especially when you’re trying something new. But the truly great people learn from those mistakes and use them to their advantage and you need to teach your children to do the same.
“We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes. Understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.”
~ Arianna Huffington
As long as it’s not a reckless or careless mistake, turn your child’s error into a learning experience. Resist the urge to reprimand and, instead, take the time to teach. Teaching your kids what to do the next time to avoid a mistake is incredibly productive.
4. “Let’s play to your strengths.”
Every person in your family has special skills and unique talents and it’s your job to constantly reinforce those strengths. Focus on your child’s strengths, praise those things, and get your child to notice those things too. Teach your child to build on their own talents and to notice the talents of others. Looking for greatness in those around us can only lead to great things.
“People cannot be forced into roles they are not suited for, nor should they be. Effective leaders allow great people to do the work they were born to do.”
~ Warren Bennis
5. “What do you think?”
Amazing parents don’t let ego get in the way of success, they seek advice from everyone, regardless of their age. Asking your kids what they think is a great way to show that you have faith in them and value their opinion. Plus, I’ve found that the best insights come from the most unexpected places.
I like to ask my kids on a weekly basis what they think we can do to improve our family. They’ve had some great ideas and, as an added bonus, they are a lot more motivated to follow through on those ideas that they’ve had a part of.
6. “How can I support you?”
An excellent way to build strong relationships with your kids is to talk with them. Take the time to check in with them. See what’s going on in their lives and ask what you can do to help them succeed.
“Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”
~Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook
If you serve and support your kids, they’ll want to do the same for you and your family. And service helps create amazing families.
7. “Feel free to always ask me any questions you have.”
We have all had an experience where we asked someone a question or for some help and had our head bitten off or felt like a huge burden. Make sure that your kids never have that experience with you. Having an open-door policy shows that you’re available to your kids and care about them. And if you don’t know the answers, it’s okay. You can always say, “I don’t know, let’s find out together.”
If you are ready and willing to answer the small questions now, your kids will be willing to ask you the big questions later.
8. “Good job.”
Giving recognition is a lot cheaper than the newest toy, gadget, or treat, and much more effective. Everyone wants to know that someone cares about them and their work. So take a few minutes and praise your kids for their efforts. They will appreciate it and will end up working even harder.
Do you have any tips for being a great mom or dad? I’d love to hear them.